


City of Angels

by lennongirl



Category: Actor RPF, Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Beards (Relationships), Character Study, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lennongirl/pseuds/lennongirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orlando doesn't like L.A.</p>
            </blockquote>





	City of Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place at mid-2004-ish-something. Robin is Orlando’s PR agent. Kate (Bosworth) was his back then girlfriend.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is all fiction, please keep that in mind. I made it all up. And what do I really know? Nothing. Also, I make no money with this bunch of lies.
> 
> Written in June 2004.

_They say this is the city_  
 _The city of angels_  
 _All I see is dead wings_

City of Angels - Distillers

 

“How are you?”

Orlando looks up, startled. Whenever he thinks he’s got her figured out, she keeps on surprising him. Which, in a parallel universe, might be a good, maybe even marriage-saving thing. But this is the here and now and Orlando doesn’t like surprises like this one. At least not coming from her.

“I’m good. Expecting anything else?” he shoots back, casually shifting in the armchair until he’s sitting sideways, throwing his legs over the armrest. Anything to annoy her a bit, at least when they’re alone. Anything to get back a bit of pride and self assurance; anything to show her he’s still a human being who can think and act of his own accord.

“Just asking…you just don’t look too good,” Robin states and eyes him patiently. 

“Well, thanks,” he snorts and resumes his former position on the chair. Sitting there with the legs sprawled out wasn’t comfortable at all. Besides, Robin didn’t even seem to notice, so why bother?

Also, Orlando is annoyed because, *of course*, she’s right. If he looks anything like the way he feels, that is. Must be the city, he thinks. Fucking L.A. Not only the smug and the blasé people everywhere he turns, forcing him to spread his smile even more than usual, indulging him in mindless chatter for what seems like an eternity. It’s as if L.A.’s the culmination of everything he loathes these days. Orlando frowns and asks himself when he began to judge his mood depending on the city he’s staying in.

Not even the fact that L.A. equals Viggo adds much to the picture. On the contrary, it’s more like being slapped by irony herself. It’s hard enough to be Orlando Bloom in Spain, Morocco or wherever his busy schedule leads him these days. But being Orlando Bloom in the city of angels, being loved and despising himself at the same time; being tempted to just live the life he really wants to, at least for a little while, and being forced into living up the façade just hours later just doesn’t add up. Being happy and angry at the same time messes with Orlando’s mind in a bad way.

But Robin won’t hear any of that, not here, not now, not in the middle of her empire. Maybe Orlando will tell her some other time, over the phone, yelling at her from a safe distance. So for now, he just sits there and stares into the space of the room.

“Look,” Robin eventually begins, adding an understanding tone to her voice. ‘Stroking you with a sugar coated whip’ is what Viggo once dubbed this tone of hers. Orlando had started a minor fight about it, he hates it when Viggo makes fun of Robin like that. Because sometimes, he just doesn’t appreciate Viggo pointing out his own weakness to him. When he’s with Viggo, all he wants is to forget.

“You know, there’s a way all of this could be lots easier,” she continues. “I mean, everything. All you have to do…just say something, Orlando. Not for me, not for Kate, just for you.”

“You really have a way of selling things, you know,” Orlando says with what he hopes might sound ironic and slightly mean. “Maybe you’d have a great future in advertising. Then again, I think you already have.”

“Orlando, please. I’m trying to help you here. I see you’re not feeling well, don’t try to fool me.”

“How could I ever?”

Robin sighs but stays calm. If they were back in this parallel universe again, Orlando might even give her credit for her patience with him.

“I really don’t want you to make a declaration or statement about any kind of commitment or a proposal or anything,” she continues, “just…just say ‘yes’ for once. Drop a clue. Say you’re dating her. That would be enough. And it would really be better for you, believe me. There’ll be less of all the other stuff, you know.”

Of course Orlando knows. He’s been playing the game for some time now and he’s learned the rules, thank you very much. Thing really might get easier for him. Robin would bother him less. And Kate…well, Kate probably wouldn’t be bothered at all, as usual. But it doesn’t matter, because Orlando can’t and won’t. Not this time.

“Robin…”

“It’s okay Orlando, just think about it, that’s all I ask. Really think about it. Talk to Viggo. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Orlando cringes. If there’s anything he hates more than Viggo joking about Robin, it’s Robin talking about Viggo in whatever context. It’s always her best shot at him and she knows it. Funny thing is, Viggo suggested the very same thing to him just two days ago.

 

*******

 

“Maybe you should just say something,” Viggo said out of the blue.

“Say what?” Orlando asked, confused. He was lying on the damp mattress, inhaling the heavy scent of sex and sweat that filled Viggo’s bedroom. Orlando knew Viggo barely aired the room when Orlando was in town or the days after he left again. It wasn’t disgusting; it was just another way of Viggo dealing with their separation. He got indulged in that smell for a little while and had no idea what Viggo was talking about.

“About your relationship with Kate.”

All thoughts about sweaty covers and smelly rooms were forgotten at once.

“What? Viggo, are you out of your mind? You know I love to fuck your brains out, but I fear I have taken it a bit too far this time.”

Viggo didn’t chuckle. “I’m serious. It would…make things easier for you, don’t you think?”

“Robin would love it.”

“Fuck, Orlando, I’m not talking about Robin, I’m talking about you. I just can’t stand to see you like that anymore.”

“Like what?”

“Like what you always look like when you have another ‘date’ to attend. Another public rendezvous scheduled.”

“Just look at something else then, yeah?” Orlando snapped, though he tried his best to fight the annoyance building up inside him. He didn’t want to have a conversation like this, not now. But this was L.A., this was the place where the good and the bad came together and he had no chance to get out.

Viggo got up and paced the room, giving Orlando some time to calm down again.

Both men were silent for a few moments before Viggo spoke up again. “It’s just…I want you to be happy when you’re with me.”

“I am. You know what the problem is. It’s this fucking city. I can’t stand it.”

“I know. That’s why maybe…it would be easier once you said something. Make them believe whatever they want to believe. I wouldn’t mind.” 

Orlando sighed. It was in moments like this he wondered how Viggo put up with all of this. Did he really give him so much that it made the other man still want to be with him? Apparently, he did. Orlando had come to accept this reality some time ago, but sometimes, he still questioned it. Though only to himself. Viggo would give him a furious sermon if he’d ever doubt the motives for his love again. They had this discussion years ago and all it lead them to was a temporary break up, lots of tears and misery and a heart wrenching and long overdue reunification. No, Orlando never wanted to look nor go back there again.

“I know you wouldn’t mind. And I also see your point. But I just can’t.” 

“Why not?”

“Because…it would take away my last illusion of hope, future, happy ending or whatever you want to call it.”

Viggo stopped pacing and sat down on the bed again. He reached over for Orlando and began stroking his chest with soft touches. “How’s that? I told you I wouldn’t mind. The people we care about wouldn’t mind. Everyone knows the game, Orlando.”

“Not everyone. I just couldn’t do it, ok? I’d loose the last bit of self respect I’ve got left.”

“Now stop talking like that.” Viggo leant back down behind Orlando and snaked his arms around his lover’s waist. 

“But it’s true,” Orlando replied, enjoying the comfort the other man was giving him so freely. “I can’t lie like this. It would be too much. I mean, just imagine…just be silly with me for a second, will you?”

“Anytime.”

“Ok. Let’s assume I say something, like we’re dating, doesn’t really matter what. Now imagine, one fine day, we wake up and the world has changed. Like Robin’s turned into a lesbian and suddenly understands and goes on a crusade to fight for more acknowledgment of gay people in showbiz. Or I have enough money and fame and nobody gives a shit who I fuck. Or maybe Kate slips or whatever. Point is, just imagine we were out for whatever reason. What do you think people would think once they find out I lied to them? Who would ever take me seriously again? How could I take myself seriously again?”

“But Orlando…you’re lying already and…”

“No, I’m not. These are just pictures, some silly sayings from Kate and a whole bunch of conclusions people come up with. This is not me. I never said anything. I never admitted nor denied anything. It’s the only thing left I can give myself credit for and I have no intention of changing that. And I don’t want you trying to take it away from me.”

Viggo didn’t answer at first. When he finally did, his voice was raw and hoarse. “I…I’m sorry I asked you to.”

Orlando turned around and kissed Viggo for a long time. 

“It’s okay,” he said when they parted. “I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. Guess I was afraid you might find it silly or something.”

“As if.”

“Yeah. Uhm…let’s just forget about it for now, okay?”

“Sure.” Viggo kissed Orlando this time, long and tenderly. Orlando thought that maybe L.A. wasn’t so bad after all.

“So, you got any plans while I’m busy upholding my heterosexual image the next few days?” Orlando asked playfully. He needed Viggo to know that he was indeed happy when he was with him, be it in L.A., Spain, New Zealand or anyplace else.

“In fact, I do. Not much, though. I’ll go that premiere, I think…”

“What,” Orlando said, curling his lips into a mocked pout. “You made a movie and didn’t tell me?”

“It’s not mine, silly.”

“Yeah, right. As if you’re going to premieres other than your own.”

“In this case, I do.”

“That’s unfair! You don’t even go to my premieres. Is there reason for me to be jealous?”

“I’d be seriously confused if you’d be jealous of Michael Moore.”

“Oh,” Orlando said. “Uhm…you just go and have fun then.”

“I’ll try my best. And about the other thing…who knows, maybe I might attend your next premiere.”

Orlando’s jaw dropped. “Are we still fooling around?”

Viggo shrugged. “Depends.”

“On what?”

“You’re not the only one who’s miserable sometimes, you know.”

“But you always said…”

“I know what I said, Orlando. But you’re not the young unknown kid anymore. And I’m not Mr know-it-all who isn’t allowed to change his mind. All I’m saying is…who knows. Because I also have illusions of hope, future, happy ending or whatever you want to call it.”

“You’re insane.”

“I love you, too.”

 

*******

“I don’t have to think about it, Robin. I won’t do it, that’s my final word. I won’t lie like that. I’d like to keep some self respect, thanks.”

“Orlando…” 

“I said no. No way. We both now that there’s a tiny chance things might maybe turn out how *I* want them to one day. And once that day arrives, I don’t want to face people…my fans, the ones you love so dearly and who pay you; I wouldn’t want them to feel like I’ve been openly lying at them like that. So stop trying to talk me into this shit, it’s no use.”

Robin sighs and shuffles some papers on her desk. “Ok, fine,” she eventually says.

“Good. Are we done now? ‘Cause I’d really like to…do something nice for a change.”

Robin curls her lips but still stays calm. Orlando thinks that maybe she even understands his reasons for not doing what she wants this time. But even if she does understand, Orlando also knows that though she might leave the matter for now, there will be a next time. Not today or tomorrow, but maybe next week or month. And Orlando will turn her down again. And then there will be another next time and another one after that. And who knows, maybe one day Orlando won’t have any strength left and just want his peace. 

And if he’s lucky, there will be another premiere. One that Viggo will attend. And Orlando promises himself that this will be the day the lying, verbal or nonverbal, will stop once and for all. Because with Viggo by his side, he thinks he can get over anything. On a good day, he not only thinks so, he also knows. And once this day comes, all he can hope for is that other people will understand. Maybe Viggo can make them, somehow. 

“Robin? Can I go?”

“Uhm? Yes, sure. See you later.”

Orlando steps out, facing the city of angels. Maybe it’s the place he truly belongs, after all. 

 

~The End~


End file.
